Looking Back
There is no concrete definition of a “thrill” whatsoever. It might be a sense of excitement you get when you find things intriguing and awesome. The thrill is subjective because not everyone understands what it takes to make themselves stimulated. In fact, looking at the situation of our world right now, I am hardly excited. I just want to reminisce and learn what it takes to feel the excitement in life.
What is a ‘thrill’? The immediate answer I have in mind is euphoria. Of course, we feel magnificent when we anticipate, this is precisely why people make count-downs. We long for the future, we long for that specific event, object or person to come and sweep us off our feet. And that feeling is great because, in that period of time, you have a purpose in life. And when you have a purpose in life, you have a reason to live, right? Sounds divine.
Maybe I have dramatised this a little too much. But it happens to me every time something remotely “cool” occurs in life: a package I just ordered from Kylie Cosmetics, a concert to attend to next month, my graduation in year… The thought of this makes me excited. I would idealise this as something riveting and absolutely life-changing, overhyping that to the point of no return.
The bad thing about excitement though, is that it never lasts. The span from euphoria to disappointment is so short that it comes and goes within the snap of a finger, barely noticeable. It is the tension, the build-up leading to the coming of the package that makes the thrill of it all. The worst part about this is that YOU determine the value of the thrill. If you track that package every 5 mins and think about it every 2 seconds, you give value to the thrill. Once the waiting game is over, you are back to boredom and misery. The thrill never lives up to the standard either. Absolutely nothing changes. Life goes on, and you don’t feel any better.
In some way, the thrill is a drug. You get high and all is well, you depend on that happiness for so long, and when it escapes from you you feel nothing but hollowness and dullness. And we depend on it, too, because it gives us purpose. The “thrill” completes us, whether it is the thrill of tomorrow, the thrill of superficial materialism, or the thrill of goals and dreams. In the following song, The Thrill is Gone by B. B. King, the lyrics perfectly describe the chill numbness one experiences after the lover leaves them “for good”.
(2:20)
Oh, the thrill is gone, baby
It’s gone away for good
Someday, I know I’ll be over it all, baby
Just like I know a man should
You know I’m free, free now, baby
I’m free from your spell
Even though we do not know if the narrator of this song is just comforting himself to say that she had left for good or not, we can still feel the sadness in his voice, how he misses the ecstatic thrill of intoxication this lover of his provides. (For a cool, revamped, 10-minute version of this song with Eric Clapton click here)
Right Now
What goes up must come down. And it is saddening because it takes time to find something else to look forward to. Looking at our society and my generation right now, our lives may feel a bit lacklustre. There is absolutely no thrill in life! Concerts are cancelled, school is cancelled, hell the person you stan might also be cancelled. Personally, I need something to look forward to for me to keep my faith in humanity. But when all homework is done and all dues are paid, the thrill is also used up. I would not want to admit that in front of anyone, because the optimistic nihilist in me always thinks YOLO whatevs. Yet, when there is not much to look to, it is hard not to feel numb. I guess we are used to the thrill. I am addicted to the thrill.
I guess the final, “inspirational" point I want to bring out is to find thrill in small things. As we grow older and stuff gets more serious, the thrill will leave us. We will stop getting excited for dumb things like package and concerts, and before you even notice this quarantine will end and you will realise how much time you have wasted waiting for the “thrill” to come. Ending this on a happy note, here is a song from the film Tangled (one of my favourite Disney films) named “When Will My Life Begin”. Rapunzel has been stuck in quarantine like us for 18 years, but she still finds joy in her life. While she wonders when will her adventure begin, she keeps a productive daily routine for herself and worked very hard to do chores and candle-making and stuff. One of the reasons I started this site is also to keep myself busy with small but fun interests. We can all learn from Rapunzel and mature in life by practising self-care and routinely pastimes that you might not have time doing before. When the day finally comes, you may look back and tell yourself that you have utilised the months you had quarantining. The thrill of it all is quite meaningless, so by diminishing its value and staying satisfied with small things, it will eventually get better.