When the bros on the internet started to make fun of 'simps', my initial reaction was no less than perplex and baffle. Simp, by definition on Urban Dictionary, is the act of doing 'too much' for a person you like, just to get their attention. It is an non-official acronym for Suckers. Idolizing. Mediocre. P*****, and it gives people the idea that being nice to an person of the opposite sex is something to be ashamed of. Before we had the 'white knights' that stand up for damsels in distress, but that was more-or-less a satirical, approving term. Simping, on the other hand, tends to break what we call the internet bro code. One shall not donate to Twitch e-girls, or defend a girl on Twitter, hell or even hold the door for a girl! I thought to myself, what happened to the whamen respecc meme? I do not see the problem of openly liking and supporting a girl, virtual or not. Frankly, I did not see the problem with simping. So I decided to take a deep dive into this topic, and I came to the conclusion that actually, SIMPing is wrong. The bros are right, and here is why.
The main problem with simps is that they expect something in return. They do not idolize girls for no reason, they have a vision of what might happen if they perform nice things to the girl. Think Jay Gatsby. SIMPs donate $50 to Twitch girls, expecting them to say a big thank you and notice their accounts. SIMPs dm girls with 'heartfelt' messages, expecting the same 'heartfelt' image, if you know what I mean. SIMPs are not doing nice acts for the deed and the brave and noble act itself, SIMPs think that it is the girl's duty to return the favour after doing a certain amount of nice things. It is the idea of the woman falling in love with them that they fantasize with. Often times, this would not work out.
Basically, simps think:
women-only-want-smokin-hot-dumb-guys-with-six-packs-and-not-super-thoughtful-guys-like-me-I-am-being-so-nice-to-you-why-won’t-you-sleep-with-me-!!!!-b*tch.
This leads to my next point, the nice guy mentality. The 'Nice Guy' is actually a cinematic trope that has appeared on screen for a very long time now, but it is only reflecting the SIMP culture in recent years. The Nice Guy appears to be friendly, caring and shy, definitely not the confident suave man picking up girls in the club. Due to his friendliness and devotion, he is often a close friend of the woman he is pursuing. However, also due to his friendliness and devotion, he could never get out of the friendzone. It is the unrequited love that made the Nice Guy not-so-nice. See, the Nice Guy is one form of toxic masculinity. There is a mindset that when guys do something nice for gals, they would finally notice their good behavior and see that they could become a potential love interest. They would also think that the girl should not date guys that treat them not as well as they do. They have this idea, this plan that the woman will wake up one day and realize her true love has been standing next to her all along! This is not how a woman's mind works. Jealousy and anticipation is driving the Nice Guy's behavior. The Nice Guy expects nothing less than the woman's love and admiration, and will act erratically if he doesn't get the response he expected. Not so nice now, huh?
SIMPs work exactly like the Nice Guy. Even worse, Internet SIMPs expect sexual compensation in return to their "nice behavior". Chivalry does not always grant you sexual gratification. If you are willing to give you everything to a woman without asking anything back, sure that's on you. But do not call the gal horrible things when she admits she does not have feelings for you, simp.
Simping is also objectifying women, to some extent. Chivalry implies that women are prizes to be won over, and they are only fulfilments of a man's life. Indeed, one may argue that simping idealizes women as goddesses and therefore is not misogynistic at all, but is it really idealizing if they are infusing unrealistic expectations upon women, only to fulfil their wants and needs? Simps would think that they have this power to make this woman love him, because he has been nothing but 'nice' to her. When simps face rejection (inevitably), they would turn their love and devotion into wrath and bitterness. When the attraction is purely physical and shallow, the simp would no longer feel the same for that woman. They are not in love with the woman, they are in love with the idea with being in love with the woman and the woman loving them back. This mentality is very fragile as women often do not behave as an obedient schoolgirl or a complete damsel in distress, it is basically an immature view of a woman. True gentlemen allows women to have their own choices, without forcing/ pressuring anyone into a relationship. The line between a simp and a whamen respecter would basically come down to their willingness to accept the worst case scenario. Even if you poured your heart for this one person, sometimes it is never going to happen. And you have to pull your pants up and accept it.
In conclusion, SIMP is one form of toxic masculinity that gives young men the idea of women are prizes to win over. Once I call her beautiful and showered her with love and affection, she will reward me with her love or her pictures. No, love does not work that way. Simp culture is toxic, and I am glad that the dudebros are calling it out on the internet. But remember, not every man treats a woman nicely because they want to frick her. At least that is what I hope, not sure I am not a guy. But yep thanks for coming to my ted talk.