It is hard maintaining an image on Instagram. We project the ideal image of what we want others to see. An image differs from a mask; it is the best, presentable side we want others to see. It is essentially the half-truth. Instagram is Neverland, because nobody is having a bad time here; we are all occupied with something cool to do. It is the eternal sunshine of a spotless Instagram profile, daunting yet intoxicating.
Sometimes, that image goes larger than life, to the point where you could no longer distinguish what is real and what is not. Competing with that image is hard, because that digital version of you will always have a better time than you. Nobody actually looks that good in real life. We are always looking for the next trend, the next meme, the next video to look at. But when the avatar is lost and the algorithms are all gone, what is left is an empty, hollow shell.
I have no image to project in this quarantine. I do unremarkable things, I produce unremarkable art. I allow my thoughts to roam freely upon this land, yet I rarely share pieces of my life. I don't see a need for that, but deep inside we are all looking for an audience. I would provide and provide, but when there is nothing to share, there will be nothing to find.
I think to myself, 'Am I allowed to be jealous of these folks? Am I allowed to look down upon my boring, pitiful life?' It took me a long time to have the epiphany. I have come to embrace the mediocrity of life. It is not always the image that is having a better time. If we minimize the gap between our flawed being and the spotless social media profile, maybe I will feel better. Maybe you will feel better. We are not inferior to the image we project on Instagram. A warm-blooded animal needs not the attention or the likes, it is self sufficient in striving towards our ultimate goal.
I guess it all comes down to what you want to be remembered for. If you hope they will know you from the image you preserved, keep that fire deep within your heart. If you want to outshine that spotless, filtered version of you, then by all means lead the way.
I yearn for the day when the image we project overlaps with our personalities in real life, when we could show both bitter and sweet moments on this platform without being judged, when the eternal sunshine dissolves into dainty teardrops of rain.
I shall be released.
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