I am the type of person that needs motivation to start working. I am only enthusiastic when it comes to fun, interesting work that doesn’t’ require too much brain power to do. Otherwise, it would always feel like a chore to do anything.
This is why rewatching the Star Wars prequels, doing uninteresting homework and writing script for my competition finals. Yes, especially last one. I attempted to focus and just finish the work, but it is very hard when the stakes are low. Ah yes, stakes. There is nothing bother me and I should be hardworking AF these days, but no the momentum of my life is getting slower and slower. The main reason behind this is that I have drift further and further from my past life; before it was sleepy-6:45 AM- sad-not-revising-but-handling-stuff-fine, and now it is tired-break-but-not-actual-break-mental-breakdown kinda thing.
At the start of the quarantine, I did a few impressive things that I am proud of till this day. But now, as I chill and go over Twitter, Instagram and Omegle again and again, my speed is constant. I am tired of everything and I lack motivation for anything. There is no promise, and I just hope that one day I could just wake up and feel like “me” again. Get it? I’m like an egg. The shell is hard but very fragile, and the inside is just goo. We are all just goo on the inside. Sad.
In Her Own Write is not a chore. I mean, I still want to write them all out, I am just tired to put my good ideas into practice. I actually have a list of good topics that I want to write about (like 14 topics), but they all require a lot of brain power and I don’t have that for now. It is okay I guess, as the great “I’m Han Solo” song once said, better days are gonna get better. Dang, this song actually doesn’t make sense.
Keeping it real and short. Bye.